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Relationship Advice Based on Science

Relationship Advice Based on Science

Despite the fact that the divorce rate in the U.S. is high, some marriages remain strong over many years. Saying this though, if you’ve tried everything to get your marriage back on track and feel the only way to move forward is through a divorce, you may want to visit this site, as going about it the right way will make this process a lot less stressful.

In fact, one study found that some married couples have the same neural activation patters of those who have just fallen in love despite being married for decades. (Acevedo & Aron 2011). What do these couples do differently? How can you have a successful relationship? What’s the best relationship advice? Can you give me any relationship advice for women?

A researcher named John Gottman found was able to predict with a 94% success rate which marriages would end in divorce and which would thrive just by watching a couple interact for 30 minutes. What he found was that successful couples have 5 positive to every 1 negative interaction (Buehlman & Gottman 1992). So, it’s very important that you manage negative and maximize positive interactions in a relationship.

There’s going to be conflict in every relationship. Research has shown that it isn’t conflict itself that causes relationship problems; it is how conflict is dealt with. Managing conflict is especially important in the first 7 years of marriage. Interestingly, negative affect during conflict predicted divorce in the first 7 years of marriage, while lack of positive affect predicted later divorce (Gottman & Levenson 2000). It’s important to address a problem you have with the other person, just be careful about how you do it.


Since you need 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction, it is important to fill your relationship with positive moments (even more important for people who fight a lot). One study found that an accumulation of positive interactions can lead to something called “positive sentiment override,” where even potentially negative interactions are seen through a positive lens (Gottman 1999). Thus, positive interactions are not only good in themselves, but they can also reduce conflict.

Successful couples can be categorized into three types: volatile couples (fight a lot), validating couples (fight a moderate amount), and avoiding couples (hardly ever fight). All three types of marriages can thrive. What all of these couples have in common is that they have at least 5:1 positive to negative interactions (Gottman 1993). If there is a formula for successful marriages, that seems most likely to be it..


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